Column: A Marine Speaks Out About Gay Marriage

Roger Dean Huffstetler
For The Washington Post

Friday, April 11, 2014
(Published in print: Friday, April 11, 2014)

I slept with a gay man for six months in Afghanistan.

No one asked. He did not tell.

In 2005, I and 200 Marines in my squadron deployed to Afghanistan to support the global war on terrorism. We were stationed at Bagram air base, a deep bowl surrounded by snowcapped mountains, where it rained and snowed while the sun beamed, prompting one Marine to remark, “Welcome to Afghanistan, the only place on Earth where you get all four seasons and a rocket in the same day.”

We lived in “B-huts,” wooden houses with no internal structure, subdivided into “rooms” by flimsy plywood boards. Every moment was spent in close quarters: working in small offices, eating meals in the chow hall, sleeping in our racks, exercising. We saw each other at our best and our worst, shared secrets and fears, lost patience with and supported one another through the duration of deployment.

Sgt. Santiago and I spoke often, if casually. He routinely had one of the highest physical fitness test scores in our unit and never missed a chance to go salsa dancing stateside with fellow Marines, including our senior enlisted Marine and his wife, whom he persuaded to join him a few times. He also proudly displayed his Puerto Rican flag in his barracks.

Nevertheless, he was a reserved man, quiet, private. I assumed these were inherent personality traits. I didn’t realize that he was hiding something.

I believed I knew the men in my B-hut better than I knew most of my friends at home, yet the man sleeping next door had a secret he dared not reveal for fear of being removed from active duty. It never crossed my mind that he was gay — or that I could have done so much more to be his friend.

∎ 

Even as a kid, Andy was exceptionally affable, the kind of person who could talk to a trash can. He never met a stranger, and he always seemed to know where he was going. Andy was surrounded by a close group of friends, always together, always laughing. It’s fair to say everyone enjoyed being around him.

In our teens, Andy and I would go on mission trips around the country, helping to clean or build homes, with a little vacation Bible school on the side. Perhaps Andy knew then that he was gay — it seems likely — but he flirted with girls, same as the rest of us. If he did know, he kept it to himself, and I lived in ignorance about it.

It would be 20 years before Facebook told me what I didn’t know about my childhood friend. About the same time, Sgt. Santiago’s news broke through the same social network: Both men were engaged to be married. To men.

There was suddenly nothing I wanted more than to make amends.

∎ 

No, I never gay-bashed. I didn’t bully, I didn’t hate, I didn’t torment.

But I did say “fag” to a fellow Marine in front of Sgt. Santiago. I did stay seated in the pew when my minister challenged, “Don’t let anyone tell you that this church is soft on homosexuality.”

Silence is a most powerful consent.

I would think: Civil unions, what’s wrong with that? I considered myself “accepting” and “tolerant,” excusing the soft discrimination that’s easy to shrug off, the implicit inequality of separate but equal.

The irony was that I had always imagined that if I’d lived in the time of segregation and the civil rights movement, I would be the white Southerner who was proud to march with the NAACP — that I would tear down bigoted beliefs and demand equality for all, even putting myself at risk if need be.

But I didn’t do those things. I watched the fight right in front of me without question, inactive and accepting — just like the generations before me.

Well, no longer.

∎ 

Andy and Sgt. Santiago both happen to live in New York now, and in a single visit I managed to apologize to, and feel the weight of, my embarrassment before each of them.

I blinked back tears as I spoke to Sgt. Santiago, who slept next door in Afghanistan, watching for my life as I watched for his:

“I’m sorry I let you down.”

To Andy, my childhood friend who still worships the same God as I do:

“Finding out you are gay has been instrumental in my supporting gay marriage. I’m sorry it took this long.”

And to both of them:

“I aim to do everything I can to make up for being late to the party.”

We don’t need to look backward for a chance to stand up for principles. Life isn’t about always being right — I was wrong for a long time — but about learning from mistakes and making amends. So I started with those conversations and writing about the effect these two men had on me, about how someone raised a Southern Baptist can love everyone equally and can advocate marriage equality.

If you’re reading this and you go to church every Sunday but you know that discrimination is wrong, or you’re serving overseas and worried that you or others in your squadron can’t be themselves, there is something you can do. Write. Speak out. Find the Andys and Sgt. Santiagos in your life and make amends. There is still time to be on the right side of history.

Roger Dean Huffstetler is a former Marine Corps sergeant.

AUSTIN, Texas — American Enterprise Institute scholar Charles Murray- who is an educational advisor to Republican governor candidate Greg Abbott, told an audience at the University of Texas this week that there is no “evidence” showing that any woman has ever been a “significant original thinker.” He then said the reason for this was the smaller size of the female brain. “When you compare the size of a man’s brain with that of a woman, there’s no comparison,” explained Murray. “It’s not that I have anything against women. They’re nice enough, but it’s just a physical fact that their brains have developed to the same degree that men’s brains have developed.” “I’m not a doctor,” he added, “but it may have something to do with their need to develop breasts. The human body can’t do everything.”His comments came as he was defending his assertions in a 2005 paper that women have not played significant roles in the field of philosophy. He argued that he could only recall a single female philosopher, “and she was not a significant thinker in the estimation of historians of philosophy. Until somebody gives me evidence to the contrary, I’ll stick with that statement.” Murray went on to blame what he called the less-impressive female brain for women making less money than men. He argued that equal pay laws would hurt women because, “You don’t pay the same at the pump for regular and supreme,” he said. “Why would you expect to pay the same for the work of a less-developed intellect?” Asked by reporters if he agreed with his advisor’s views, Abbott, who is running for governor against Texas State Senator Wendy Davis, stuck with his man. “Charles is a smart guy,” he said. “If he says women are inferior than men, who are we to argue?” - See more at: http://www.newslo.com/texas-republican-candidate-for-governor-claims-women-have-smaller-brains/#sthash.CrE95lIL.dpuf

Scott Brown’s Die Young and Broke Campaign Launch (A Statement By Granite State Progress)

  By Granite State Progress | April 10, 2014 - 6:45 pm | Granite State Progress, Politics, Press Release, Uncategorized

Scott Brown in 2010
Image by Wiki Commons

Brown wants New Hampshire families to forgo benefits he used himself

CONCORD, NH – Scott Brown will formally announce his campaign bid for U.S. Senate in New Hampshire tonight with a hypocritical ‘Die Young and Broke’ campaign theme – otherwise advertised as Live Free or Log On. Statement from Granite State Progress Executive Director Zandra Rice Hawkins:
“Scott Brown had no problem logging on when he was collecting health care from the federal government for his own family. Brown even told his hometown paper the Boston Globe that he was keeping his younger daughter on his health plan through age 26, a popular provision available to all families thanks to the Affordable Care Act. Yet, Brown is encouraging Granite State families to forgo health care coverage with a misleading campaign slogan. He might as well be saying die young and broke from lack of health care coverage or medical bankruptcy because that’s what he’s endorsing.”
“Scott Brown’s failed Massachusetts talking points don’t jive with the real benefits tens of thousands of Granite Staters are experiencing thanks to Obamacare. Like Scott Brown’s daughter, 10,000 New Hampshire young adults have remained on their parent’s health insurance plan thanks to the Affordable Care Act. In the last month New Hampshire exceeded expectations for marketplace enrollment and passed Medicaid expansion with a bi-partisan coalition because true Granite Staters know that access to quality, affordable health care coverage means living free from a lifetime of health care problems or escalating medical debt.”
Scott Brown’s campaign also released a press release earlier this week that stated that health care premiums in New Hampshire have risen 90%. WMUR debunked the number, reporting that the flawed figure was based on the opinion of a single New Hampshire broker and that New Hampshire premiums will actually decrease by 8% this year.
“Perhaps Scott Brown’s formal campaign launch will mean that he’ll finally invest in a campaign researcher instead of just the staff he hired to pick out popular New Hampshire venues for his staged photo ops,” Rice Hawkins said.

A very well written LTE from Rachael Booth of Landaff...(posted with permission)

There is a concerted effort in our country to cast the Affordable Care Act in the worst light possible.  We have heard that “the American people don’t want this” over and over from Speaker John Boehner and other Republicans in Congress as well as being bombarded by Fox “News” and conservative talk show hosts about the dangers inherent in the ACA.  We have even seen numerous TV commercials with nice old ladies saying how their lives and their health care have been ruined by “Obamacare”.  When looked at closely, these advertisements are found to be totally false, yet they continue to be aired.  We are told repeatedly how Obama, Senator Shaheen and Representative Carol Shea-Porter have “lied” and said that you can keep your doctor if you like him or her.  There was no lie; as it turns out, most people WILL be able to keep their doctors under the ACA.  But the Right wants you to believe that the President and others lied to us about this.  Can you imagine the President of the United States openly and knowingly lying about something like this with the realization that when the truth comes out he will be thoroughly embarrassed?  Really?  Then you also believe that the President was born in Kenya.

To date, over 5 million Americans have signed up for health insurance through the ACA.  Yet the misinformation campaign continues to thrive.  A majority of business owners with fewer than 50 workers still think they have to offer insurance to their employees or pay a penalty.  That is false.  Forty-one percent of uninsured Americans say they plan to remain that way because they believe it will be cheaper for them to pay the penalty than to buy insurance through the program.  They don’t realize that there are subsidies available to them to help pay for their insurance.  They are getting this misinformation from conservative sources saying totally untrue things like the ACA is “the biggest job killer ever”.

Other widely spread misinformation about the ACA: Congress is NOT exempt from it; it does NOT include “death panels”; Muslims are NOT exempt from it; it does NOT ration health care – it remains the same as always; illegal immigrants will NOT be able to get health care it or be able to enroll in Medicare, or even shop on the marketplace for health insurance; and finally, seniors will still be eligible for cancer treatment under the new law.  This last one is particularly heinous because seniors seem be the most targeted of the misinformation campaign.  This is all simply just scare tactics meant to discredit the President and his policies.

Instead of listening to the lies and misinformation being spread about the ACA, take the time to actually read what is REALLY going on and learn something instead of letting the conservatives and Fox “News” tell you what to think.  Understanding things makes the world a whole lot brighter.

5 Ways Paul Ryan’s Budget Screws Seniors

Higher Medicare Costs Now

Republicans often point out that Obamacare cuts Medicare Advantage and reforms the program. But they fail to mention, as Democrats often do, the benefits the president’s health law has given to current Medicare beneficiaries.

The National Committee to Preserve Social Security and Medicare reports:

The Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services recently reported that since the passage of the ACA, over 7.9 million Medicare beneficiaries in the Medicare Part D donut hole have saved $9.9 billion on their prescription drugs, an average of $1,265 per person.  Also, 37.2 million people with Medicare took advantage of at least one preventive service with no cost sharing, including an estimated 26.5 million people with traditional Medicare, and more than 4 million who took advantage of the Annual Wellness Visit.

Ryan’s budget would repeal those benefits while keeping the cuts Republicans have been campaigning against for four years now.

Obamacare reforms have also lowered the growth of Medicare’s costs to zero. If this trend continues, the program would be solvent even through the peak of Baby Boomer retirements, protecting seniors from future benefit cuts.

It Cuts Programs Seniors Depend On

In an effort to balance the budget in 10 years while keeping tax cuts that mostly benefit the rich, Ryan would cut a slew of programs seniors have relied on.

“Funding for Older Americans Act programs like Meals on Wheels, family caregiver support, job training, senior centers, and disease prevention programs, would suffer significant cuts when the need for these services is increasing,” the National Council on Aging (NCOA) reports. “Over time, these programs—which are NOT contributing to the federal budget deficit—would be cut by 22 percent below current levels.”

Another $137 billion would be cut from the Supplemental Nutritional Assistance Program, aka food stamps. Currently, 9 million seniors and people with disabilities receive SNAP benefits. And the Social Services Block Grant (SSBG) that helps with the home delivery and support of seniors in their homes would completely eliminated.

The Senior Corps, which gives older Americans a chance to give back, would be completely eliminated right as millions of vital Boomers hit retirement, according to the NCOA.

Photo: Mike Rosati via Flickr

Medicaid Would Be Gutted And Left To The States

Seniors know that Medicaid isn’t just a program that helps low-income Americans. It’s a vital lifeline for seniors as ”the largest payer of nursing home and other long-term care, covering 49 percent of all such costs,” according to Families USA. More than 15 percent of seniors depend on the program. That share rises to 44.6 percent for seniors with disabilities.

Ryan’s budget would cut the program by $732 billion as it changes the funding into block grants for the states, which could then evade federal regulations that help ensure quality care.

Supplemental Security Income (SSI) Cuts For 2 Million Seniors

Ryan’s plan also calls for $500 billion in cuts to “other mandatory” programs, which could include cuts to SSI for up to 2 million seniors, according to the NCOA.

The seniors who receive SSI are America’s poorest retirees, often those without any savings or familial support. This is the kind of cut that could turn the hyperbolic attack that seniors would be forced to eat cat food into reality.

Ryan doesn’t make this cut explicit, possibly because the insanity of eliminating a few dollars a day for the neediest Americans while offering millionaires more than $500 a day in tax breaks is too cruel to admit.

 Ends Medicare As We Know It

Paul Ryan despises Obamacare. So why does he want to turn Medicare into Obamacare?

While eliminating the reforms that extend the life of traditional Medicare, Ryan would cut benefits for future retirees in four ways.

“The proposal would increase the Medicare eligibility age, raise the deductible amount for doctor visits, penalize or prohibit people from buying first-dollar private Medigap coverage, and increase monthly premiums for middle-class seniors with incomes over $46,000 per year,” the NCOA reports.

Ryan would turn the single-payer program that promises all of America’s seniors basic health care into a “premium support” model that’s much closer to Obamacare with a “public option” than today’s Medicare. And by raising the retirement age and eliminating Obamacare’s Medicaid expansion and subsidies, Ryan would leave millions of future 65- and 66-year-olds without any health insurance at all.

        By James Pindell

Bio

Hear the one about NH health insurance rates going up 90 percent?

CONCORD, N.H. —Here is a funny story about some funny stories you may have read this week. Maybe this will provide some insight on how the Republican Party message machine works. Of course, Democrats attempt to do the same thing. You, a casual follower of politics, may not know any better.
It starts with a national report from Morgan Stanley on expected health insurance rates changes in different states next year. What it said about New Hampshire was rather alarming: Rates for health insurance on individuals went up 90 percent.
A blogger for Forbes.com wrote up the report. On Monday, seeing an opportunity, the New Hampshire Republican Party sent out a press release blaming Democratic politicians and the Affordable Care Act for the huge rate increase.
Then a local Republican blogger followed the press release by tweeting a link to the Forbes story. Within minutes, the state Republican Party then retweets the blogger. The story is then gaining interest to other media outlets. The next day, The Union Leader made it a front page story with the headline "Survey: NH health premiums up 90%."
WMUR-TV did not air a story about it.
Here's why: it's all based on one anonymous person's opinion.
You see, Morgan Stanley conducted a survey of insurance agents in 34 different states. On page six of their report it details how many people they talked to in each state. In New Hampshire, they said they talked to one person, who they don't name. Interestingly they also only got one response in nine other states. They got the most responses (31) from Idaho. For those keeping track, 21 percent of all survey respondents were from Idaho.
Morgan Stanley never promised that this survey was based on actual insurance rate data in each state. But if you are interested in that the state Insurance Department hired an outside firm to do that analysis. They found that, after you factor in subsidies in the new health care law, the average premium would actually decrease eight percent this year.

Read more: http://www.wmur.com/political-scoop/hear-the-one-about-nh-health-insurance-rates-going-up-90-percent/25401982#ixzz2yZyK5R00

A clip from MSNBC about equal wages...

http://www.msnbc.com/morning-joe/watch/mika-why-executive-orders-were-necessary-221137987849?cid=eml_mmj_20140409

Scot Brown gets hammered by Rachel Maddow

Take a listen as Rachel Maddow takes on Scot Brown...

http://www.msnbc.com/rachel-maddow-show/watch/republicans-lose-obamacare-as-campaign-prop-219680835869

Priceless.